Throwing Out the lies with the birth water

Last night we attended the Melbourne screening of  "Throwing out the lies with the birth water" by Rani O'Keefe (pic by BellyBelly Kelly.) [We were at the back, my husband is in this photo in blue.] I had to stand for the movie but it was worth it. Rhea Dempsey spoke about the need for women to have access to their birthing hormones and instincts and getting to that place where the neo cortex is gone! The way she explained it was very insightful. The movie was about the situation in the Blue Mountains where its become difficult for women to travel to birth and how its essential that women can choose to stay home.



After the movie, Alex Bhathal, a Greens politician from Batman electorate spoke on where the Green party stand as far as the Maternity Reform making it effectively impossible for women to have birth choices. They hope to have enough power in Parliament that they may start from scratch with Maternity Reform, that is really the only hope.

A video on how Julia Gillard has shown her lack of concern for women today in Australia.




Speaking of politics, the Federal election is on Saturday (21st August). At the moment we are in caretaker mode in Australia (with Julia Gillard as our first female prime minister). I think that means even campaigns are slow and boring!
In our electorate we are a safe Labor seat. I often see Labor posters and occasionally Greens but never Liberal. My daughter brought me a little info on the local Greens candidate on a mailout she found on the way home from school. I could only find one article on our local candidate. She is 1st on the ballot paper. My other choices are Family First and Socialist so I am decided. I will vote below the line on the white paper and for which I only have a rough idea how I will vote at this stage.
There are independants standing in 4 areas of Australia who need votes to stand up against those who oppose birth choices.  Sally Anne Brown for Corangamite (VIC), Michelle Meares for Robertson (NSW), Amy Bell for Macquarie (QLD), Rebecca Jenkinson for Dickson, (QLD).
Michelle Meares, Amy Bell, Sally-Anne Brown and Rebecca Jenkinson are standing in marginal seats of Robertson, Macquarie, Corangamite and Dickson respectively.

Things, thoughts and thuds

Just a few things I have made recently. Not feeling up to blogging it all. The Ultimate longies for the Budding designers Group KAL on Ravelry in Patons classic merino for a newborn size. Also in the same yarn, finally a pair of slippers for my daughter who has only been asking for a year or so. These were also a KAL for same group. I love the buttons as I discovered when I sewed them on they look like hugs and kisses.  The skirts are a test crochet for a wonderful new pattern to be released in September called Coconut Ice. I am working on a third skirt. A scarf I made quickly for my daughter from funfur and sock yarn crocheted together length ways. An awesome hat for me using up leftover Noro yarn.  Car seat straps in cotton with handmade buttons. The doll is a present for J who is turning two next month. It is an anatomically correct boy, I am planning to dress him over the next few weeks. For now he has a bonnet crocheted from sock yarn.

This is my friend's few days old gorgeous little girl. I made her children a hat each and this is the same bonnet I made for J's doll but done with a 4mm hook. I did the doll's with a 3.5mm hook. Isn't she lovely?!


Update on my back pain. I could use a scale of how I am feeling with agony being at its worse and painful being moderate and then there is uncomfortable where it isn't too debilitating. That is today, just uncomfortable. I have been crying a lot over the last few days which has me believing that maybe the repressed sadness is in my back rather than repressed anger as I have read could be the reason for back pain without known physical cause. I rarely cry and I have felt so much better after my recent crying! Its like a much needed release. I think I have found the spot where I may have injured my back - possibly from lifting and turning J while asleep to feed him. I have been limiting stress, refraining from yelling and just letting things be as much as possible. Trying to remember to breath especially diaphragm  breathing. And of course limiting breastfeeds and carrying J. J is great, though his typical toddler ways leave me exhausted at least he seems to understand when I say no to feeding him. Toilet learning still seems a time away but I know one day it will all makes sense to him. My big kids got it at 2y10m, 3y6m respectively, Av at 18mths (going on the potty independently then no nappies at 2y1m). He is not yet 2 so I can only guide him.

We haven't been doing much lately. I think the weather stops us from doing more even if our intentions are to go out and do more. We haven't had too much illness apart from the typical cold. I even had it which is rare for me. The big kids are not loving school as much but still go. Maybe because they see it as a normal thing. I would like to know more homeschoolers and do meetups, I think that networking would make the difference.  The pressure they are putting on my daughter  in preparation for high school is tremendous and not something that I see as necessary. She is 10 and in grade 5. We are hoping she will not attend high school but I think it is her choice.

My big boy is always learning what is next especially when it comes to maths. He knows fractions, money and division. He is 7 and in grade 2. I am always worried that he will get bored but he seems to be able to jump ahead of his own accord. His teacher seems supportive of him giving him more work but I doubt she does. He chooses not to do his homework. I don't agree with homework so I am happy for him not do it. My daughter stresses over it and I think its not necessary.

Meanwhile Av is learning what he wants to. He is keen on learning letters, words and numbers. I am not teaching him but guiding him, answering his questions and I believe he will learn what he needs to. He is almost 5 and has not been to school, I do not plan to enroll him. He is happy not to go to school at this stage.


How scary is this? My husband wanted to go from a run so we all went along with him. Not to run but to play at the playground. Unfortunately my eldest son got carsick so by the time we got to the Lake it was too dark and wet for play. It didn't stop Av!

Anyway, we were driving (husband was driving) there when I see and hear something slide down the windscreen. It was a hammer! After hearing about rocks and chemicals being thrown at cars and people for fun, I was freaked out. My husband told me that was the thud that happened last night. So it must have been thrown the night before, landing on the top but only slid down at that time.

Chronic Back Pain

In an effort to discover why I am having so much pain in my back I figure I can try blogging/journalling it and learning as much I can about my body and maybe why its happening and how I can cure it. I have been looking into Knowledge Therapy and the idea that stress could be the cause rather than a physical reason. I have been having severe back pain for about 3 weeks now. I have no idea how people deal with it for months, years and decades. I often woke up with the pain - generally in my middle back, in between my shoulder blades. I have a shower which only relieves the pain ever so slightly. Sometimes the pain dissipates or lightens but gets worse as the day becomes night. I am not sleeping very well though I am very tired. Its causing me to think about dying - cos surely if I was a horse I'd be shot. I have no other reason to think of suicide so its concerning.
I don't recall having an injury but I do believe that the body is meant to repair and recover. I do not think the medical profession will  (or is not capable to) help me.
I have looked at the way I sleep. I am sleeping on a queen size bed with my husband and youngest child. I usually feed bub once or twice a night. He accepts if I say no more. I tried sleeping on another bed but it was still uncomfortable in the morning.
At my husband's advice I have tried stretching more. A friend told me it is related to my posture so I have been more aware of that. Yet the pain has become worse. Today I bend over or down and I cry "Far Out" Its unbelieveable excruciating pain and agony. I hate feeling this useless. If this is psychosomatic then I can have hope. I pray that this will be over and I can get back to be a Mama who is not yelling and doesn't get upset when they want a hug because it hurts.

World Breastfeeding Week (My breastfeeding story and thoughts)

This week is World Breastfeeding Week. I support breastfeeding, I have breastfed 5 children, 4 of them my own. The other child was a week old. His name was Benjamin and his family were Australian by birth but lived in South Africa, they had come home to have their first child. Unfortunately the mother was struggling with it all and was very exhausted. She basically collapsed on the floor of MCHN after a playgroup I was attending with my eldest daughter at 6mths of age. I offered to feed their child who was screaming while the mother talked to the nurse (who offered formula as her solution *sigh* ). I spoke to the father while I fed Benjamin, he contently fed and fell asleep which his father was very thankful for.

When I was pregnant, I didn't give much thought to how I would parent. We had little money and didn't really buy into the idea that babies need to cost a lot of money. My mother told me of how she managed without a pram and the like. I thought using cloth nappies and breastfeeding was normal, less wasteful and cheaper. I didn't consider I would have problems breastfeeding, it was was just how mothers fed their children. I don't remember seeing many babies being breastfeed as I was growing up but do remember when I was a teen I knew someone who was feeding her 5 year old. It was very normal and not something to freak out over. Even still when I had my daughter I thought I would feed her til she was 1, no less, no more. I weaned her 2 weeks before her 1st birthday because she was biting me and I couldn't handle the discomfort at the time. I was upset that she didn't feed til her first birthday. Thankfully when my second child started biting at 8mths I persevered and he self weaned at 18mths. My 3rd child self weaned at 21mths. My 4th child is still feeding at 22mths. I did wean him from day feeds because I found it challenging to feed him so much during the day and neither of us were happy. He continues to feed at night on demand, sometimes once, often many times during the night. I really want to feed him til he is 2. Breastfeeding is not so easy as they get older but it is still beneficial. It could be said I have had an easy time of breastfeeding but it wasn't without its challenges. Sore nipples and mastitis and lots of feeling touched out. Our culture barely tolerates breastfeeding so it is hard for women to keep feeding their babies til the recommended age of 2 and beyond. I know embarrassment is one of the reasons why women stop or don't attempt to feed. And other people's comments on it. When I was pregnant with our first my husband was shocked when at our 20w scan a researcher wanted to know if I was going to breastfeed ( I didn't think it was a choice as such) and he didn't want me to. Now he understands it but back then he had only known people to formula feed as he was (he was adopted but I wonder if he would have been breastfed otherwise). My mother in law was shocked my SIL was breastfeeding her 2 year old, saying it was illegal. My mother saying it's not right to feed past 2. It seems the world is against mothers nurturing their babies. As a society we are in such a hurry for our kids to grow up and be independent and never at their own pace.

I support breastfeeding. Not with any conditions.* Not "as long as it is done discreetly". Not "as long as the child is under 1" Not  "as long as it doesn't upset anyone". Its not about others, its about nourishing and comforting a child. I wouldn't dare put any conditions on others especially childrens happiness and well being.

Drama over baby and keys locked in van

Some may say its bad parenting. We locked our kid in the car. If we get technical, hubby left the key on a sleeping J unknowingly who then awoke to press lock on it. Fortunately it was not a hot day. My husband panicked, I tried to stay clam. Honestly I have been feeling awful with bad back ache and nausea and the last thing I wanted to do was go see a friend to take photos (for an ebay listing) but I was promised it wouldn't take long....
About an hour (time I am unsure about) later we conceded that J would not be able to get out of his car seat (that is their purpose, right?) to pick up the key he threw at the window and was lying on the floor.  He had fallen asleep after realising it was not a game and it was no fun anymore. He was in some distress so I was glad he decided to sleep instead. We considered breaking the window but I suggested calling the Police at least for advice would be wise before taking that last resort. They were so helpful and sent out all 000 services because an infant was involved. Within minutes a fire truck with sirens blazing arrived.

If only J knew the treatment he was receiving. Four firemen jumped out of their truck with lights on and asked about our son and the locks on the car. Because J was asleep and heat was not an issue they asked if it was okay that they took their time ie. not break a window and unlock the car.  I was happy with that. Not long after the Police and Paramedics arrived and basically watched. It didn't take them very long at all to open the passenger door through the sliding door on our van. The Police told us if needed, to break the front window because its cheaper and less damaging. But more importantly we are getting a spare key!
J was very upset when hubby took him out of the car. He was crying so the Paramedic said he didn't need to look him over. I tried to comfort him but he was quite inconsolable. I was trying to show him the fire truck as he loves trucks. I don't think he understood the drama at all. As the fire truck drove off he realised what it was and waved! He declined a drink but had a snack with his sister after a long cuddle with Mama. The big kids were not worried about it all but Mama and Dad were distraught and quite worn out. Av was out watching last night smiling his grin and then upset we decided not to see our friend. J seems more clingy today and I don't blame him.