Wednesday, July 27, 2016


Finally got the nerve to make myself my first socks. They then appeared on the Ravelry homepage which is a honour.

I hope to try knitted socks soon too. I made my youngest a pair of tube socks but a fear of heels keeps me in awe of those who make simple and amazing socks alike.

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Losing our son.

My oldest son (second child) was born 22nd April 2003. It was a hard pregnancy, no morning sickness to speak of, just one day of hay fever (very unusual for me) but he felt so heavy especially towards the end. He stayed in utero for 42 weeks. He arrived into the world spontaneously and naturally. The birth was difficult, even traumatic. It lead me to thoughts of homebirth.

He was a healthy boy as far as I could tell. He received Hep B vaccine, not that I can remember signing consent. He was breastfed til he self weaned at 18 months and no health issues in his first year.

He was full vaccinated til 12 months ( 2 days before 1st birthday). That day I had a strong feeling that vaccination was not a good idea, not sure why. But I figured the Government would not agree to something that could hurt children. So he had several vaccine doses. One in each limb and one oral.

We stayed in that council building for fifteen minutes.

A day later his cheeks were red. A week later his face was red. People were perplexed at the sight of our son. Even for the next three years. He developed severe eczema that would flare up ever so easily.

When I say severe eczema, I mean it looked horrendous most of the time, it was more than dry itchy skin ( difficult enough to deal with), it was mostly scabs on his face and feet. His big sister protected him and showed her love even when others would stare or say nasty things. People thought it was measles or chicken pox. Or he had a collision with the asphalt.

One doctor ( many didn't care to help us) was concerned that the eczema would enter his bones, possible death. At this time we had a friend who lost her son of the same age ( about two) when eczema entered the brain through his eye. Nass had eczema around his eyes too.

At about four years of age, the eczema started to clear and to this day, has what I call mild eczema on his inner elbows and knees. Of course I was glad that it had lessened.

Then he was diagnosed with acute asthma at four. It was manageable til last year (2013). Of course all this is coincidence according to his doctors, no investigation taken.

In November he had his most severe asthma attack to that day. Nobody seemed to be too concerned, they said it needed to be managed better but we were getting conflicting advice.

In December, only days before Christmas, we thought we had lost our son forever. Early morning, my husband calls for me to get the spacer. I bring it to him as I head to the toilet. When I return, he was gone. Blue, lifeless for all we knew, dead. It was as if he gave up, no longer wanting to struggle to breathe.

I don't think I can say for sure what it feels to lose a child but I got my taste that morning and it hurts. It hurts to write about it and I don't have the words. 

As my husband performed CPR, I frantically fumbled for an idea to get back our son. I remembered the Epipen. Nass has allergies, namely egg grasses, and dust/mites. I had no idea how to use it, never used it before. Finally managed to open it and stabbed him in the thigh like I'd seen on TV.

My husband was on the phone (000) while doing CPR and he started to breathe again. Relief, some hope and help arrived. Many paramedics in our crowded little lounge room, all working to stabilise our son.

In the ambulance, Nass thrashed as he came to. He cried and threw his limbs about. I was glad I could see and hear him alive but was worried for him. Would he have brain damage?

At the hospital they worked quickly, stabilising him and having to sedate him. In ICU for 24 hours, a CAT scan to check for brain injury but all appeared normal. Relief, again.

Our incredibly intelligent son, who started talking at 8 months and excels in maths and science, has Aspergers traits. People may think autism is the only vaccine injury parents are concerned about. Most people are not aware of low functioning autism, you cannot say you prefer having a baby (essentially) forever over a ' vaccine preventable' disease leading to death. Sure both are rare but what about the vaccine injuries in between. Eczema, asthma and allergies, like our son? Or SIDS ( death), various types of auto immune disorders, behavioral disorders? Cancer?

As rare as they like to say vaccine risks are, when it happens to your child, there us nothing rare about it.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

LUX inspired hat

Its been a while since I last posted, more than a year. My kids are growing up and keeping me busy but I have also had more freedom to do things for myself. I needed to start looking after myself.

I discovered a TV series called Life Unexpected and the knitted hats and scarves that the main character wore kept me intrigued! The hat Lux wore in the pilot episode set me on task to make it myself.

I used Skeinz alpaca merino dk 8ply with a 3.75mm needle. It is knit in the round after the tubular cast on with many rows of rib then garter before decreasing in the crown. Pom pom is added as is a button tab for decorative purposes.

Using tubular cast on, 136 sts.
Join in the round and continue in rib for 40 rows.
Knit and purl for 10 rows - garter stitch.
Decrease in the crown.

Decrease row - (k6, k2tog)
Decrease row - (k5, k2tog)
Continue in this manner til 51sts  remain

Knit/purl 10 rows

Final decrease row - k2tog til last knit, k1.
Leave a tail and thread through remaining 26 sts and fasten.

Pom pom - Using toilet rolls.

Button tab - Join yarn to left side of hat for 12sts. Knit ( garter) for 10 rows. Decrease by k2tog on beginning and end of each row til 1st remains, fasten off.

Add button to tab on outside of hat.
Sew on pom pom.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Super Hat

Super bulky yarn, super 15mm hook and you have a super fast hat. Fits infant.

2ch with super bulky yarn and 15 mm hook. 
In second chain, sec 6 sts ( join with ss at end each round) 
Work 2sc in each st around { 12st} 
Work (2sc , 1sc) around {18st} 
Now working straight (sc) for _ rows, working in a spiral. 
Finish with crab stitch

Sunday, February 24, 2013


My firstborn is thirteen. My daughter was born thirteen minutes after my water broke in hospital. It was an uncomfortable but not all too painful labour. I didn't like being yelled at though for being noisy as I screamed my first child into the world, or the two and half hour stitch up.
I think adapting to being a mother for the first time was one of the hardest thing I have experienced. I was amazed, happy yet unprepared for the change.
I couldn't feel more blessed to have her in my life.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

A new year, its 2013

Its hard to believe I haven't blogged since October. It has been a busy few months in our household. All the kids are growing up and I do wish time would slow down so I could appreciate it more.

Christmas day itself was lovely. We spent time with family before hand and did presents a week before. (For the record they each got things they really wanted, from us and relatives). I was glad to see my Mum too, who came to Australia for about 5 days.  For something different, we did a daytrip on Christmas day. It was a glorious day and I am glad we were able to drive out to the Great Ocean Road. We did a short rainforest walk and visited Port Campbell and witnessed the 12 Apostles.

We have been fortunate in having the opportunities to do other roadtrips around Victoria which we enjoy.
We saw the new year in the city of Melbourne watching the fireworks.

Talz has been drawing and improving so much, her interest being in anime and learning the techniques involved in drawing anatomy. She has an interest in the world around her, not only her awareness of those she meets, but also in geography, world history, and languages. Japan, France and Canada in particular have intrigued her. Even though she asks questions, I sense she knows more than I can 'teach' her.
The same goes for my oldest son who likes to share his research. He likes to read and take things in. that is one thing he appreciates about being home, more time to read rather than the allocated 30 minutes a day they had at school. He is interested in computer programming and has been posting youtube videos.
Meanwhile Av is interested in various things, including bodyboarding. His vocabulary is impressive and he recognises words and understands basic maths.
J is surprising me with his conversation and relaying of events. Bould is still a favourite.
Bub is 20 months and such a happy boy. He doesn't say many words but he seems to make his own language and communicates.

I have been knitting and doing crochet but not so much. My latest favourite pattern is Griffin (see above photo). I made a Mario blanket which I was quite proud of. Take a look at my Ravelry or flickr if you want to see my latest photos.

Monday, October 15, 2012

October 2012

Its been a while.
Since I last posted, my Mum married and moved to the US; my forth child, J turned 4 and my husband has been through a long arduous recruitment process for a new job.
He is almost through so fingers crossed.

My husband went through some emotions, realising his kids will have more scope early on working out what they want to do with their life (now and in the future) - more  than he did -and he felt some jealousy. He was able to turn it around, inspired by his kids who have no reason not to believe in him.
In an anti family kind of world where individualism is not often respected, its been a journey. To be honest, unjobbing would be ideal but the job he is applying for would suit him well and its better than where he works now.

Meanwhile, our children cannot help but learn.
My daughter has been getting into detailed drawing such as eyes, hands and most recently hair.
Minecraft is still popular  (Tekkit and Technic) with my eldest son. He engineers and builds things that produce a trigger and reaction. Still very much in deschool mode with him, not that school was something he had to overcome, but it has been an adjustment. Also his health has been a focus, particularly his eczema which I believe has improved, maybe in part to a change to a vegetarian diet and clay baths. Asthma has been horrendous and I feel helpless on that front.
Av is improving in karate. He is active but also likes to consider cause and effect. He has an interest in numbers and simple calculations as well as money (eg. how much things cost) but does not like maths because "that is what they do at school"
Like his sister, J has an interest in maps. He enjoys collecting toy cars. He is talking rather confidently now. I am intrigued by this because my younger boys were 'late' talkers yet it hasn't hindered them in the least.
Day is interested in food, what everyone else is doing and playing with toys that have wheels. He answered the phone yesterday and was intent on trying to communicate (it happened to be his Dad on the line). Though he doesn't say too much, he sure knows how to communicate his needs.

Check out the beautiful Owlet Creations blog to read more from unschooling families.

Unschooling of a six year old