Births

Unfortunately I am not keeping out with the blog, so much happens and I forget.
 I have felt inspired to update the blogs of my freebirthed babies with finally Day's montage.
 Day's birth
 As well as  photos to show how much J has grown over the past few birthdays (3rd,2nd,and 1st). He now has shorter hair and talks in sentences. Strong for a reason is my bet. This year he will be 4. He is often asked if he goes to school or Kinder sohe must look much older. At this stage we plan for him tobe homeschooling alongside his big brother. I am feeling confident about my children not going to school. We are slowly building upanetwork of likeminded parents and that has helped agreat deal. We even had a chat with a local who is considering homeschooling. Three of his children are at the same high school as my daughter and he isn't impressed with them either.

I am reminded why I don't blog too often, I ramble....

The birth of Freckle has been on my mind in most recent days. I was able to attend the blessingway and having some purple threads tied around my wrist helps me think of it.
I made the precious boy a breastfeeding beanie and I was honored to see it on him in some gorgeous photos.

I have been sporadically knitting and crocheting and my stash has dwindled. I have been busy and quite distracted doing various things.
My big girl turned 12 towards the end of February, she maturing in many ways, her hormones prove to me she is not a little girl. We went to a vegan cafe for lunch on her birthday.

I remember my daughter's birth.I remember the morning sickness  I suffered during the pregnancy, how strange it seemed that antenatal care seemed pointless, how the doctors wanted me to abort our much wanted child in the case she may have a chromosomnal abnormality like my sister had. I remember how I was ignored through the labour and how they took over as my baby crowned and treated me with such disrespect that I didn't understand.  I had no expectations or even a birth plan. I tore and the doctor took so long to repair it and this was a source of trauma for me as well as possibly the shock. I found the emotions of being a new mother incredibly overwhelming.

My girl was born chubby and so healthy.

Such a gorgeous little soul, I look back and wish I enjoyed those moments more.I was unwell when she was a baby possibly due to the birth and depression. I had Graves disease and when she was a toddler, I had surgery to remove my thyroid.

I feel have made so many mistakes but I don't know it all and I will continue to learn.

Children are still awesome

~Even though you appear nuts, you love your kids and want MORE. Yes, your hands are full. No you can not afford them. Yes, you sometimes mix up their names. This is not actually an indicator that you have trudged too far down the path of insanity. It is just LIFE. And life can be hard, but children are still awesome. You see the beautiful moments, where everybody gets along and where there is just a touch of the divine in your home.

 This made me cry as I totally understand this thinking and it is how I feel.

 A picture by my 7 year old son, neat writing included. Today the children received a box of craft supplies, they were so rapt. All 4 love to draw. J says "'raw?" He especially likes to draw on skin so maybe a future tattooist? I am not very artistic at all but their father is.
Though somewhat rare, seeing the children play together and create together today was divine.

Blog neglect

Blogging has not been  a priority lately so its been neglected which I think is not a good idea as I will find it hard to catch up. I did have a night recently where I tried to fix up this blog as my 15 month old thought it amusing to stay awake til 4am.
What are my priorities at the moment? Sleep...eating....and of course family. Its all I seem to manage day to day. I am trying to let things go of the wanting to do more. Its not possible.
For now I enjoy the quiet moments, getting non-disrupted sleep, eating good food, and seeing my children smile.
I am not a goals orientated person at all. I don't like routine or schedules. I do want for things, Desire is a good thing, something to keep me going. I think about studying, organising the house, making things easier for myself. Sometimes I even work towards those things. I think this year may be a more personal year, time for growth and progress and working to understand who I really am. I don't expect to blog about that so may be this blog may become quieter but hopefully not neglected.  hope I can continue to create and have fun with my kids so I will document that.

My Body, My Baby, Our Safety

 

  

Just been playing with the header and making banners. Not completely happy with them so I will get more magnificent ideas in time. I am sure! Or I will leave that up to other more tech savvy and talented with their wonderous blogs.

I like the photos though. My awesome 4 and their gorgeous smiles which make me think things are good in our lives right now, that even though I make mistakes, I am doing alright as a mother.

I have survived this year - ie. the year after J's birth and no PND or depression to speak of. I didn't think it possible. I do attribute this to his birth or more to the point, taking responsibility for my body, my baby, our safety. It was safe for me because I chose it knowing what was needed. What isn't safe is being devoid of choice, of being disrespected. 

Which brings me to this grab of videos from the Canberra Rally. Nothing special to most but they are from my view. Rain, babies and passionate people.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com